I think the best thing for my blogging problem is to make a new livejournal account. And here it is! [link] If any of you are on LJ- or just want to make an account so that we can stay in touch- I'm happy to friend you. You won't currently be able to read any of the journal without being friended.

And someone stole my username Hmph!

I'm feeling the urge to start blogging regularly again. Well, the urge never left, I just sort of tapered off. Here's the thing: I don't like that the journals here at dA are open to the world. I'm sure no one actually cares enough to stalk me and track my journal down, but it's still a possibility. I also maintain a livejournal account, which I like because I can close off, but I've decided I'm not entirely comfortable the the group of readers I have friended over there. Do any of you use livejournal or another site? I mostly want a space that I can write in and feel safe, even if no one ever reads it- but the thought that some of my neat internet friends are reading is comforting. Call it narcissistic if you want!

I find it deeply ironic that I've roleplayed a Victorian matron who thinks that her cats talk to her for years. In her mind, they are intrinsically telepathic and care about her life, always ready to jump in with their advice and guidance. I haven't sunken quite so far into insanity, but a few times in the last week I've woken up suddenly, convinced with a disturbing certainty that Orpheus, my orange tabby, is sitting right by my head where he always would, purring and rubbing his face against my and being insistently present.

For cats and other innocent things, there is no saying goodbye. There is only the now. Orpheus sat by my head and purred, asking to cuddle, nearly every morning. If I let him cuddle longer than usual on the last morning we had together, he saw no significance in it. He saw only the pleasure in the moment, in being with me the way that I think he is for a few terrible seconds these nights. Cats don't want to have closure. I wonder if they are more advanced in that than we are; do we really derive any lasting comfort or pleasure from our partings? Maybe it is better if there is only then and now, life with one person and then with another. No fear of death or separation, no worries or hopes or regrets. There would only be the present moment, only making the most of that one instant of life.

Stolen from *onebardmojo!

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Closed, until the kittens open them.

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
Yes, I do! I use them, too.

3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Out. I like to tuck them under my feet.

4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
No, I never have, but the street signs for my block were stolen recently. I actually missed my own turn. Sigh.

5. Do you like to use post-it notes?
Yes, I like post-its. I find that the things I write on them don't usually get done, though.

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
Sometimes, but more often I cut them out and then try to use them, only to realize that they are expired.

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
Urg. Bees.

8. Do you have freckles?
Uh, I guess so. Maybe?

9. Do you always smile for pictures?
No.

10. What is your biggest pet peeve?
I'm not supposed to put something serious for a pet peeve, right? In that case, I don't have one. I try not to get upset about things that aren't serious.

Okay, maybe it's when my kitten stands right behind me when I'm cooking and then howls when I step on his tail by moving my foot slightly.

11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
I've done it before, but not recently.

12. Have you ever peed in the woods?
Yep!

13. What about pooped in the woods?
If I have, I don't remember it.

14. Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?
Not recently, but I definitely have before.

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils?
I've tried to break myself of the habit.

16. How many people have you slept with this week?
None.

17. What size is your bed?
It's full-sized. It was cheap.

18. What is your Song of the week?
Jerome Kern, "Remind Me"

19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Sure, if you want to.

20. Do you still watch cartoons?
I never watched cartoons when I was a kid, and I don't now.

21. Whats your least favorite movie?
Whatever it is, I'm sure I just stopped watching it if I disliked it that much.

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
What kind of a question is that? Somewhere very, very secret!

23. What do you drink with dinner?
Water

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
I haven't eaten a chicken nugget since 6th grade. I think I dipped it in ketchup.

25. What is your favorite food?
Eel sushi.

26. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
I'm not sure about movies, but all three of the Joss Whedon TV series (Buffy, Angel, and Firefly) I could watch over and over again.

27. Last person you kissed/kissed you?
My ex-boyfriend.

28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
Yes, I was a brownie and then a girl scout. It wasn't anything too exciting.

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
Sure, if you pay me enough! Yes, it sounds shallow, but I want to pay my rent as much as the next person!

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
It was a couple of weeks ago- I wrote a letter to a friend from college.

31. Can you change the oil on a car?
Yes, I can. I think. I did once. I wouldn't try it again. I don't feel a connection with my car's internal workings.

32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Nope! I did get one for stopping too close to someone, though. That was at the end of a very, very long work day.

33. Ran out of gas?
Yes, and the little light in my car is broken! I found out by running out. Bah.

34. Favorite kind of sandwich?
I like sandwiches with avocado and sprouts. And other stuff too, but definitely those ingredients.

35 Best thing to eat for breakfast?
Tea!
If actual food has to be included, I really like cornmeal blueberry muffins. I don't know why I only make them once a year or so.

36. What is your usual bedtime?
Midnight or a little later.

37. Are you lazy?
Yes. I can fight it off sometimes, though.

38. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
I was Pippi Longstocking once. I did a variety of homemade costumes, but I think that one was the best.

39. What is your Chinese astrological sign?
Pisces? Or rabbit? Which do you mean? I don't buy into it.

40. How many languages can you speak?
5

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Nope.

42..Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Legos, by far! I played with legos a TON as a kid.

43. Are you stubborn?
Yes. Why do you ask? Think you can talk me out of something, huh?

44. Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
I'm not sure. I am uneducated in the ways of pop culture.

45. Ever watch soap operas?
No, but I'd like to watch the older episodes of "Passions."

46. Afraid of heights?
Sort of, but I like them.

47. Sing in the car?
All the time.

48. Dance in the shower?
No, there's not enough room!

49. Dance in the car?
No, I tend to stay seated and drive.

50. Ever used a gun?
No, and no desire to.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
Senior portraits in high school.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Often, but I enjoy it.

53. Is Christmas stressful?
Not all of it is, but there are usually stressful parts.

54. Ever eat a pierogi?
Yes. I'd like to try making them.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
I've been making apple lately, but I really like peach-blueberry pie.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Ballerina.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?
Not really, but the idea is captivating.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
Yes, I think so.

59. Take a vitamin daily?
Usually, but I've been known to forget.

60. Wear slippers?
In the winter, yes.

61. Wear a bath robe?
I have one that's pink and fuzzy. It's very warm.

62. What do you wear to bed?
Pajama pants and a t-shirt.

63. First concert?
I have no idea, but I'm sure I was very young and it was a symphony.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Target.

65. Nike or Adidas?
I don't wear either.

66.Cheetos Or Fritos?
Fritos, or better yet chips from Chipotle.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Peanuts, but I don't like to snack on either.

68. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
No.

69. Ever take dance lessons?
Oh yes.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
Either something very executive/professional, like lawyer or doctor, or something extremely artsy, like musician or writer.

71. Can you curl your tongue?
No. I've tried.

72. Ever won a spelling bee?
I've never participated in one, and it's probably a good thing.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Yes, I think so.

74. Own any record albums?
Nope!

75. Own a record player?
No.

76. Regularly burn incense?
Semi-regularly. When my apartment building is being cleaned, it smells like cleaner in my apartment, and I prefer the smell of incense.

77. Ever been in love?
Yes.

78. Who would you like to see in concert?
Bryn Terfel, Dawn Upshaw, Anna Netrebko. I'd like to see more of them.

79. What was the last concert you saw?
I was at the chamber orchestra concert not too long ago.

80.Hot tea or cold tea?
Hot assam with milk and sugar.

81.Tea or coffee?
Tea, of course!

82. Sugar or snickerdoodles?
Oo, I like snickerdoodles.

83.Can you swim well?
Yes, I'm a decent swimmer.

84.Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
Sure can!

85. Are you patient?
I definitely try to be.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
Small orchestra? Just kidding, I'll probably have some sort of boom box and DJ if I ever get married.

87.Ever won a contest?
That's a vague question. Yes, I have.

88. Ever have plastic surgery?
No, and never want to.

89. Which are better black or green olives?
If they are good olives, green. If they are cheap canned olives, black.

90.Can you knit or crochet?
Yes, I can do both, but I'm much better at knitting.

91. Best room for a fireplace?
Living room.

92. Do you want to get married?
Meh. Some days, but certainly not right now.

93. If married, how long have you been married?
I am unmarried.

94. Who was your HS crush?
Jordi LaForge, from Star Trek TNG.

95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
Does that work? Neat!

96. Do you have kids?
Nope

97. Do you want kids?
See #92!

98. Whats your favorite color?
I think it's purple, but I love burgandy and teal too. I like the way certain colors go together more than I like any one color on its own.

99. Do you miss anyone right now?
Yes.

100. Did you watch, Next Great American Band on FOX?
No. So was the whole quiz some sort of ad for that? Hrmph!

Dunno a heap about the what and why-
Can't says I ever knowed.
Heaven to me's a fair blue stretch of sky-
Earth's jest a dusty road.

I have a slight problem with my schedule today. I somehow gave two students the exact same lesson time. Both are students that it will be very painful to call with next to no notice and tell them that I can't keep our appointment.

I've been doing this job for well over a year now, through some very busy and stressful times in my life, but I've never made quite such a glaring error. So the question is, why now? Now that I have a bit more time, and I'm supposed to be relaxing and taking a step back to think about everything that's going on? Maybe I've relaxed too far, and I've always kept much busier in the past for good reasons.

I haven't shared a picture of my kittenses in a while. They have no objections to laziness.